


i’ve got a crush on someone, guess who

by actually_ihavenoidea



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Bachelorette AU, F/F, F/M, Humor, M/M, lol not really, yachi just wants to find love but these boys are making it difficult
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 17:41:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30059163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/actually_ihavenoidea/pseuds/actually_ihavenoidea
Summary: “Hitoka looked over to Tadashi and Kei who seemed to have adjusted to the situation and were now also stifling laughter. With Shoyo and Tobio arguing in the background and Hitoka trying very hard to diffuse the situation, Suga put on his best hosting face and addressed the at-home audience.”or: Hitoka’s just tryna find love. Things don’t go exactly as planned and honestly, this is probably going to be a really good season.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Yachi Hitoka, Kageyama Tobio/Yachi Hitoka, Tsukishima Kei/Yachi Hitoka, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Yachi Hitoka/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14





	i’ve got a crush on someone, guess who

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, I don’t know what this is. I have never in my life seen a full episode of the bachelorette or the bachelor or any of it’s related series. I’m just a simple girl who was watching TV one day and decided I desperately needed to write this. So here it is. 
> 
> Title from: “I’ve got a crush on you,” by George Gershwin (sung by Ella Fitzgerald, Frank Sinatra, etc).

Hitoka walked out of the house to the center of the courtyard. Everything around her sparkled softly, giving off a warm and welcoming glow, even with all the cameras and producers scattered about the place. Flowers decorated the area strategically, offering an air of romance to the area. 

Despite the atmosphere, she couldn’t help the bittersweet feelings that were brought on every time she stepped foot in the courtyard. This was where she had to say goodbye to one of the four wonderful men before her. It’s where she’s sent countless other special guys home. (With the exception of Tetsuro, who’s permanent smirk made her incredibly uncomfortable). She didn’t want to say goodbye anymore. Least of all to these four with whom she’d created close bonds. Unfortunately, only three roses sat on the table beside her. They taunted her with the sadness that lay hidden behind their delicate beauty. 

“Gentlemen,” Hitoka smiled at them, “thank you for sharing your homes with me this week. It truly made me feel so much closer to each of you after seeing where you grew up.” 

Each boy looked at her with fragile hope. It made her chest hurt. 

“Shoyo,” she addressed the shortest, sunniest of the bunch. He beamed at her. 

“Kei,” next, the tallest, most secretly soft-hearted of the crew. He blushed. 

“Tobio,” she locked eyes with the grumpy man, knowing full well how beautiful he was when he allowed himself to smile. He averted his eyes and his cheeks grew pink. 

“And Tadashi,” she turned towards the last, sweetest, and most earnest of the men and he jumped. She giggled. 

“All four of you have become so special to me and I hate to say goodbye to any of you.”

Hitoka tried to put on a good show like the producers wanted her too. It wasn’t as difficult as usual. She was being honest, after all. Genuine love and happiness filled her looking at each of the men before her. 

But this was a TV show. This was what Hitoka signed up for. What the four of them signed up for. She was there to find the one that would be beside her side for the rest of her life. She was searching for the genuine connection that she thought only ever existed in movies and books. 

“Unfortunately, I have to trust my heart. It hurts to say goodbye to any of you, really. But I only have three roses.” 

Kei and Tobio stiffened while Shoyo and Tadashi deflated. Hitoka swore that she saw a subtle apprehensive look exchanged between Shoyo and Tobio, but she brushed it off as nerves. None of them wanted to say goodbye to anyone either. She felt that firmly in her heart. They were all such good friends now. 

“The first rose of the night goes to,” she picked up the small boutonnière and gazed down at it sadly. She met the eyes of her four suitors and locked on with Tadashi. 

“Tadashi.” She smiled and the shy boy walked over to her. 

“Tadashi,” she looked up at him, “will you accept this rose?” Tadashi’s mouth curled softly and he nodded. 

“Thank you, Hitoka,” he murmured as she pinned the rose to his chest. Tadashi joined the others once more and Hitoka grabbed the next rose. 

“Kei,” she called and the tall blonde looked surprised for the briefest of seconds before blushing like mad and sauntering over. 

“Kei, will you accept this rose?” she chuckled and pinned it to his chest. His head turned away, his ears pink. 

“Tch, if you insist,” he grumbled, but the soft smile on his face told her everything she needed to know. He took his place back in line. 

Like clockwork, Suga appeared beside her and she jolted with surprise. (Hitoka would never get used to how he just appeared out of nowhere. It startled her almost every time).

Shoyo and Tobio glanced at each other once again before looking back at Hitoka. Suga addressed the crowd with a fake-somber look. 

“Gentlemen, only one more rose tonight. Hitoka,” he put a hand on her back, “whenever you’re ready.” 

Hitoka nodded and picked up the final rose. She twirled it in her fingers briefly, thinking over her decision once more. It was going to be hard. Tobio and Shoyo were the two men she had grown closest with, as well as the two closest of the group in general, despite their constant arguing. The two of them spent a significant amount of time together off camera and frequently bonded with Hitoka backstage. 

However, she only felt that one of them might be someone she could pursue romantically. The other was merely a platonic love. It would still be painful saying goodbye to him. Her biggest hope was that they could remain friends. This boy brought a type of joy she didn’t think she would find with anyone else and gave her a sense of confidence she never had before. If she could choose him over all the others she would, but something in her heart stopped her. Something told her that he didn’t love her romantically; that he never would. She accepted that early on in the process, but now it was down to the wire, so she knew it was time to say goodbye. 

“Please know, if I could keep both of you here, I would,” Hitoka lamented. Shoyo and Tobio smiled sadly at her. 

“We understand, Hitoka,” Shoyo reassured and her heart clenched. She nodded and looked at the rose. She inhaled and braced herself. 

“Tobio,” she said. Tadashi’s eyes widened and Kei’s jaw dropped. Even Suga behind the camera looked bewildered. Surely, the audiences at home would be just as shocked. 

The response was understandable. More often than not, she could be found with Shoyo. Time and time again, she went on and on about how much she enjoyed his attention. Time and time again, she waited in anticipation for their next date. 

And time and time again, their dates ended with a simple hug. 

He never kissed her. He never tried to show any kind of romantic interest at all, in fact. 

At first, Hitoka thought he was being respectful. As they grew more comfortable together however, she started dropping hints that he tried to subtly avoid or ignore. She was positive that no one else, not even the audience, would notice, but she’s been friendzoned before. The signs were obvious to her. 

Shoyo smiled and dropped his head towards the ground. Tobio walked over to her, shock on his own face. 

“Tobio, will you accept this rose?” she asked. 

“Y-yes, of course,” he stuttered and she pinned the rose to his chest. He slowly made his way back to the line. 

“Shoyo,” Suga said, magically beside Hitoka once more, “say your goodbyes.” 

Shoyo nodded sadly and hugged Kei. He and Tadashi did a little handshake and a bro hug. He shook hands with Tobio (which Hitoka found odd). When he finally walked over to her, he gave her the biggest, warmest hug, and a gentle kiss on the cheek.

“I’m sorry, Sho,” she began, but he shook his head. 

“Don’t be. I understand,” he grinned and the tightness in her chest released a little. 

“Can we still be friends?” she ventured, hesitant. Afterall, she just rejected him. His eyes widened and he grabbed her shoulders. 

“Of course,” he said, a serious, almost frightening look on his face. He hugged her again and her eyes burned. 

When he pulled back and saw her tears, his eyes blew wide once more and he cupped her cheeks. His thumb wiped away tears as they fell and she chuckled. 

“Why are you crying?” 

“I don’t want to say goodbye,” she forced. 

“Hey, it’s okay. We’ll stay in touch,” he promised. A smile spread across his face and she nodded. Suga popped up beside them once more and put a hand on Shoyo’s shoulder. They both jumped. 

“Shoyo. It’s time to pack up your bags and leave the house,” he said, all serious-like. It amused Hitoka that he was so stoic when he was hosting the show. Behind the scenes, he was sarcastic and goofy and honestly a little pestering. Quite often, he was the first one to initiate their prank wars. 

Shoyo nodded and turned towards the other three to leave. As he was passing beside them, Tobio’s eyes followed him strangely. Hitoka would almost call the look in his eyes a ‘longing.’ 

Shoyo passed him without a glance and started exiting the courtyard. 

“Shoyo!” Tobio yelled and grabbed Shoyo’s wrist. All eyes were on them. 

“Tobio? Wha--” 

“Shoyo, I--” Tobio floundered before he squeezed his eyes shut. He inhaled deeply and opened his eyes. Where they were frantic and panicked before, an almost calm, resolute determination shined through now. He tugged on Shoyo’s wrist, pulling the shorter boy into his chest. 

Hitoka watched on with wide eyes. Were they about to--

In one fluid motion, Tobio wrapped an arm around Shoyo’s waist, his other hand cupping the redhead’s face and suddenly they were kissing. 

Hitoka yelped in surprise. Tadashi fainted. Kei choked on air. Suga looked around at all the producers frantically who just shrugged in response and kept filming. 

“Shoyo, I love you,” Tobio declared. His eyebrows were pulled together and he frowned, but his cheeks were red and his chest heaved with slight pants. Shoyo stared up at him, his mouth opening and closing stupidly before he pulled Tobio down forcefully and kissed him back. 

Tadashi, who was being helped up by Kei, passed out in his arms again. Suga, at this point, was trying unsuccessfully to stifle laughter behind his hand. Hitoka was just flabbergasted. 

“I love you too, Tobio!” Shoyo exclaimed excitedly when he pulled back again. 

“Uhm, ahem,” Hitoka cleared her throat and they jolted. They quickly surrounded her, apologies flying out of their mouths. 

“It's okay!” she silenced them with a laugh. This was fine. Truly.

“Hitoka, please know that we didn’t plan this--”

“Well I would sure hope not!” She took both their hands and squeezed. 

“I’m happy for you two, honestly,” she reassured them. They smiled at her and then at each other. 

“Can we still hang out?” Tobio asked frantically. She gaped at him before laughing again. 

“Yes. Of course!” 

While Hitoka was shocked, she felt validated more than anything else. She loved both of them but knew something wasn’t meshing romantically with Shoyo. The only reason she planned to keep Tobio on for at least another week was to see if she could find that romantic spark. If she was honest with herself though, she knew for a while that it wasn’t there. Although, she was a little disappointed that she didn’t realize sooner. But, it wasn’t the first time her gaydar was off. 

Hindsight is 20/20, and looking back, this made sense. It put a lot of things together that she could never quite figure out during their time together. 

Tobio and Shoyo started off really rough, constantly arguing and causing a lot of drama. Hitoka thought they would be some of the first people to go. (But then she got to know Yuu and Ryu and well… let’s just say they weren’t exactly her type). As the weeks went by though, they spent more and more time together. You could never find one without the other. They sat or stood next to each other at all gatherings. They laughed at each other’s terrible jokes. Their arguing decreased, though never vanished. They always went to bed at the same tim—

“Wait,” Hitoka glared at the two of them and their spines immediately straightened. 

“So all those times you guys ‘went to bed’?” She used finger quotes and stared her two friends down, her lips pursed and an eyebrow raised. Two sets of eyes widened. 

“Well, you you see, H-hitoka,” Shoyo stuttered, bringing a hand up to rub the back of his neck. 

“We were making out,” Tobio stated plainly. Shoyo’s head snapped towards him and he all but growled. 

“You don’t have to be so vulgar, Tobio!” He slapped Tobio’s arm. 

“I’m just being honest with her, you dumbass,” he sneered back and grabbed the top of Shoyo’s head. (That would get bleeped out later. The producers have complained multiple times over to Tobio and requested he stop cursing so much-- they’ve never had to censor someone quite so often on this show before). 

“You could have handled it with more grace, Stupid,” Shoyo screeched back. Tobio rolled his eyes. 

“Grace? What doe that even--”

“Now, gentlemen, it’s oka--” Hitoka tried. 

Suga stood between them and the cameras, his face red from laughing so hard in the background. Hitoka looked over to Tadashi and Kei who seemed to have adjusted to the situation and were now also stifling laughter. With Shoyo and Tobio arguing in the background and Hitoka trying very hard to diffuse the situation, Suga put on his best hosting face and addressed the at-home audience. 

“Well ladies and gents, this is reality television, after all! You’ve just witnessed history in the making for this show. Tune in next week to see how we handle this one!”

***

(Spoiler alert: Hitoka didn’t pick Kei or Tadashi. A certain beautiful and raven-haired producer that flirted with her sometimes may have professed her love for Hitoka during the final rose ceremony. And well, maybe Hitoka liked girls the whole time anyway. After all, Kiyoko’s confession was the first time since being on the show that Hitoka felt that spark that she was searching for the whole time. 

It all worked out, because apparently Kei confessed to Tadashi a week later. Suga and the other producers, though tragically confused, said that this would probably be their most popular, highly rated season to date). 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos always appreciated! Thanks for reading :) 
> 
> Twitter: @/noidea_actually   
> Insta: @actually_ihavenoidea


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